There’s a long-standing tradition within the modern Craft that advises against taking minors on as students. This guideline was established to prevent legal complications, should the student’s guardians object to their child’s chosen spiritual path. There is very little documentation on when a student can begin their studies if legal issues are not a concern.
Some say that a student shouldn’t begin their studies until after they reach adulthood, a benchmark that is reached at the onset of a girl’s menstruation or a boy’s first nocturnal emission. Others say, that as the number thirteen has special significance within witchcraft, that no child should begin their studies before that age.
But what if the child is being raised in a pagan household? Is age still a concern?
What if your three-year-old wants to learn to be a witch?
Knowing When To Begin
My daughter, who was given the path name of Sparrow to use until she goes through her coming of age ceremony and chooses her own path, is incredibly gifted. It’s not uncommon for us to go hiking and have her describe who is coming toward us on the trail, the party in question still hidden from sight and around a bend in the mountain. She’s told me of changes to the house that took place while she was in daycare and has demonstrated her telepathy so frequently, it’s not uncommon to hear, “Sweetie, are you in daddy’s head again?” around our house.
Sparrow has grown up around the trappings of the Craft, fascinated by friends’ altars and ritual tools. After moving into my new apartment, a box of ritual gear that I had outgrown caught her eye. For three consecutive days she asked if she could see “the magic stuff.” On the third day, I put Sparrow and her brother to bed – both were wide awake, both willingly crawled between the covers. I passed their room almost an hour after bedtime and they were both awake, laying quietly in their beds.
I slipped into their room. “You have both been really good today,” I announced in a whisper that promised something exciting was about to happen. “Would you like to do something special? Do you guys want to get out of bed, light some candles, and play with the magic stuff?”
And so the training began.
Where To Begin
One of the first things you need to determine, regardless of whether the student is a child or an adult, is what concepts and techniques they are capable of grasping. With toddlers (Sparrow’s brother, Bear, was also involved) there are some special considerations.
First of all, there is a safety factor. As her parent, I’m not ready to introduce Sparrow to the concept of the athame. There is too fine a line between a ritual blade and the knives in our kitchen for her to be expected to know which is okay to use and when it’s appropriate for her to handle them. While both Sparrow and Bear have been taught to properly respect candle flames, the potential for error is simply too great to risk a possible catastrophe. And I’m not sure how the poison control hotline would respond to a call from a panicked father, exclaiming, “My toddler just ate a tablespoon of copal resin. Should I be worried?”
The second thing to keep in mind is to teach only what the child is interested in. Neither of my children have any interest in meditation, but both are fascinated by stones, wands and cauldrons. Think of a child’s interest as their way of saying, “Would you explain this to me?” With any child, let them set the limit to how long the lesson will take. There is nothing more frustrating than trying to teach a student who isn’t interested in learning and would rather be doing something else.
Start With The Basics
Concepts should be boiled down to their simplest form. For instance, Bear loves rocks. A large piece of rose quartz that I own caught his eye one day.
“That’s a love rock,” I explained. “If you’re feeling sad you can come and give it a hug and it will hug you back. Or if you’re very happy, you can come hug it and the rock will be happy too.”
Bear will come into my home office, pick up the stone and hold it next to his cheek. He’ll then offer it to me and I’ll do the same. When I hand it back, I’ll watch with just a touch of awe as he gently returns it to where it typically rests and heads out of the room without a backward glance.
It was too much for him to understand the symbolism of the stone, how to connect with its vibratory energy, or the appropriate ways to use the stone in meditation. But by boiling it down to its simplest form, even an eighteen month old toddler can grasp the basics.
Of course, maybe he understands the stone better than I do.
Build Slowly
Sparrow has begun to do simple rites under my guidance. There’s an old brass cauldron, about the size of a cereal bowl, that she found in the box of magic stuff. The first lesson was simple – it wasn’t a “pot,” it was a “cauldron.” Once we had that down, I took much the same approach as I had with Bear and the rose quartz.
We talked about the fact that it was a magic cauldron, that when you fill it with water you could reach beneath its surface, pull out a wish or happy thought, and touch the water to your forehead. That way the wish or happy thought was yours to keep. Likewise, if you are feeling sad or angry, you could take those feelings, put them into the water, and let them go.
At first, I would set everything up. Now, Sparrow is beginning to take on that role, very carefully pouring the water into the “cawl-drum.” From the very beginning, we’d take the water outside and pour it out at the base of a small tree. We say thank you to the water, the tree and the cauldron. Sparrow is beginning to handle the entire process on her own.
The Next Step
The next thing I’m going to work with is allowing Sparrow to have her own area in my office to build an altar. We’ll talk about how it’s a special place where she can keep her magic stuff and that she can use them any time she wants to. I’ll have to make a special effort not to judge the things that she chooses to include in her altar. After all, it’s what she feels is important and right, not what I think she should choose. It’s a constant process of holding out my hand to help my children up to the next level and remembering to let go when their feet are set so they can find their own way.
Bear will be playing catch-up for awhile. After all, he typically wants to do whatever sister is doing. His biggest challenge right now is expanding his vocabulary. I try to remember the steps that I took Sparrow through, teaching her to speak about her emotions, that it’s okay to feel any emotion as long as we take responsibility for our actions. Bear has two things going for him though. First of all, I’m not breaking completely new ground where he’s concerned. With Sparrow, I’m flying by the seat of my pants; Bear will benefit from what she and I have learned together. And I won’t be teaching him alone. I have a feeling that Sparrow will have a hand in that. After all, what are big sisters for?