Last week I wrote about the search that I'm on to find that missing "something" in my life. You responded with a wealth of email, great suggestions and advice. Thank you so much for your assistance in my quest. Now if anyone has an in with a reputable literary agent who would represent my fantasy novels, I'd be truly in your debt!
Seriously though, the responses you sent were very valuable to me. One of you wrote that I needed to ask myself how I perceive "God" - do I see the divine as an undefined force that keeps the universe functioning or do I perceive the sacred as a personal entity that I can develop a relationship with.
This turned out to be a much deeper question than it appears at first glance. Is the divine a sort of mystical clockworks that keeps everything functioning in its own place and own time? You could read this as a set of mystical laws, karma, or even the energy that unites us. Or is the divine a personable entity, someone that you can build a relationship with?
The interesting thing is that both opinions are correct. I'm a strong believer in the idea that our individual concepts of God are defined by how we see the divine. I've always believed that our perception as human beings is limited. It's not that we create the divine to adhere to what we believe, it's that our beliefs develop by how we see the divine. For me,it's not that our differences in beliefs can be categorized into right or wrong. From my perspective, if someone believes that God is different from how I perceive the divine to be, it's simply that they see that sacred energy in a way that I can't perceive.
In our house, we have a "god box." It's a large square cube with a different animal on each side of the box. Looking at the box, I might see a horse while someone else, looking at another face of the cube, might see a sheep. While we both see different animals, we're both looking at the same box.
So the question becomes not so much how I see the divine, but how do I want to see it. What do I need? What does my heart hunger for? What will set this question to rest?
I've decided that I perceive the divine as an entity that I can build a relationship with. I'm exploring options, drawing on what I know of a number of faiths to discover how a practicing witch develops a relationship with the divine. If I were Christian, I would spend time reading the Bible and devote myself to meditation and prayer. As a pagan, I can spend time in meditation and I can pray as I learned to pray while working with a Native American woman. My question has changed from "What am I missing?" to "How do I build that relationship with the divine?"
I'll share those answers as I uncover them.