Wounded Healer
January 18, 2008
by Jeffrey Pierce
I try to pay attention to patterns in my world. When something out of the ordinary flow of life comes up twice in my world, I make a note of it. Once it happens for a third time within short period, I try to figure out why it's appearing and what I should do to honor that energy.
Over the last week, a number of people have commented either about my recent medical issues or about struggles in their own lives. While they may seem completely unconnected to the casual observer, they are two sides of the same coin in my world.
A shaman is part teacher, part counselor, part healer, and part mystic. I make a better teacher because there was a time when I couldn't find instruction and no one had the answers that I sought. I make a better healer because I've been sick and wounded and learned to heal. And I make a better counselor because I've been hurt and broken and learned how to mend.
The path hasn't been an easy one. I've been raped and sodomized, beaten and left for dead, and kidnapped and had a gun pointed at me with murderous intent. My body has been riddled with cancer on two occasions and I've been far enough gone with various ailments that I've experienced more than one near death experience from my bed in the hospital's intensive care unit. I've been so poor that I didn't know where the next meal was coming from and went without food myself so that my family could eat. Growing up, my room was searched and my books burned in front of me - I've even had our family's church try to cast demons out of me. The list goes on and on and hits almost all of the major struggles and traumas that a person can face.
Having walked each of those paths first hand, I am incredibly honored to have the opportunity to offer love and assistance where I can, not just as a spiritual teacher, but as a fellow seeker. At first glance, those words might seem strange. "Incredibly honored." But I know the pain, the hopelessness, the vulnerability you're experiences first hand. I've been there. The transformation involved in the healing, in the learning, is such a magickal transition in a person's path. If we are truly here in this incarnation to learn and grow, then being invited to assist in that transformation is something that I truly consider one of life's greatest honors.
I'll admit, it does take a toll. On most nights I get between five and six hours of sleep and it's rare when a portion of that day isn't devoted to teaching, counseling, or healing of some kind. When any of us are tired - which is a pretty constant state for me - we tend to react rather than respond. And I'm certainly not immune to that. But the same tools that I employ when helping someone else are then turned to my own psyche and I work with what I find there. Each day I try to become a little more patient. A little more compassionate. Love a little more fully and deeply. And then I can give a little bit more.
That's one of the reasons why I offer Old Ways free of charge. There was a time when I couldn't find a teacher. I was also very poor and couldn't afford a book, let alone a workshop, so I understand that need. This is one need that I can fill. There are other reasons why I don't charge for spiritual instruction, but while they can be debated away, being able to meet a need is one that will always be there.
So if you think that I've walked some wonderful path to reach this point, if you try to put me on a pedestal rather than right next to you on the path... stop. Chances are, whatever you've been through, I've been through something similar, if not worse. I'm just a seeker, like you. The only difference is that I've been granted the great honor of filling a need - and I'm truly honored to serve.